


A journey of discovery

by Sofy2801



Category: Man in an Orange Shirt (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-07-14 17:17:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16045010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sofy2801/pseuds/Sofy2801
Summary: When Adam gets to know that there's a museum in the house where Thomas March lived his last years in Cassis, Flora and him decided that the painting of the cottage and Michael Berryman's portrait should be displayed there.So Adam goes to France with Steve, for a journey that he hopes will help him to discover something else about the love between his grandfather and the painter.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to everyone following this fandom!
> 
> I've discovered the TV show by chance, and fell in love with it immediately.
> 
> I love Adam and Steve, because they are troubled yet amazing in the intensity of their feelings, so I decided to focus my work on them, but intertwining their story with the one of Michael and Thomas seen through the pages of Thomas' diary that Adam founds in his house in Cassis.

Adam lowered the car window.

They were approaching Cassis, and the warm evening air was filled with the smell of sea and pines. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a moment.

It has been a very good idea to come here. 

When Caspar told him there was a small museum in the house Thomas March lived his last years in Cassis, Adam felt he had to see it. The only sign of his grandfather and Thomas relationship was the letter Michael never sent…he hoped that maybe Thomas left something that could help him to know more about them.

Adam was bringing to France both the portrait of Michael Berryman and the painting of the cottage. Flora and him decided they belonged there. With Caspar help, Adam got in touch with the woman who was managing the museum, and he’s been given free access to all the items that were normally invisible to the public.

He turned to look at Steve who was driving. Only looking at him made Adam feel in peace. His closeness was therapeutic, being with Steve was making Adam heal from all the wounds of his troubled past. 

It was incredible how he changed Adam’s life in just a few months. He convinced him to go to a psychologist to deal with his sex addiction, and Adam had to admit that he needed it. Even if the therapy implied not having sex with Steve until it was finished, it helped him to discover a new kind of intimacy he never experienced before. Cuddling on the sofa watching a movie, laying in bed to talk before sleeping, being held during the night, feeling Steve’s breath on his ear was ten thousand times better than all the rushed encounters he’s had during the years.

And the reason was simple, yet so hard to admit for him: Adam loved Steve. 

When he realized it, he was terrified…completely unprepared and unable to deal with such a huge feeling that he never felt before. But after reading his grandfather’s letter to Thomas he knew that loving Steve was the greatest thing that could happen to him, his opportunity to have what Michael never got the chance to have. And he followed his heart lead.

Of course Steve doesn’t know, he had never had the courage to tell him, too afraid that he won’t say it back. But maybe after this short holiday he would find the courage to finally do it.

“One penny for your thoughts, Mr. Berryman” 

Adam smiled. “I’m sorry, I haven’t been much of company…”

Steve took a look at him, then turned his attention again on the road. “It’s fine, I know this is not easy for you, you probably have tons of questions running in your mind right now”

“I just hope to find some answers…”

“I hope it too”

“Thank you, Steve”

The man turned again to look at Adam “For what?”

“For coming here with me”

I’d go to the other side of the planet, if you’ll ask me to…Steve wanted to say, but it was too suppy even for him, and he wasn’t sure Adam was ready to hear something so similar to a declaration of love.

“I would have never let you come here alone, you know it”

“I know…I’m too lucky…”

Adam turned to look outside again, his mind lost in his thoughts, and Steve couldn’t stop thinking at how much he loved the man seated beside him. He didn’t even try not to fall for Adam, he knew it was impossible from the start, even if it was clearly going to end in a disaster, and Caspar tried to warn him.

There was something pure in Adam that made Steve want to help him to let out, there was another man beyond the appearance that just needed the right opportunity to show. Adam was a challenge, and Steve wanted to win it.

It has been, and it still was, hard, harder than he thought. But he had to stay strong, because Adam needed him to be his rock. And Steve knew that it would be worth it at the end, after this trip, after Adam will finish the therapy, after he would accept himself completely, they would be happy.

He had no doubts about it. The signs were already there, in the way they had built a comfortable familiar routine, in the way Adam smiled, more often and more genuinely than before, in the way he acted when they were in public, holding his hand without being ashamed of what people may think…

“There, this is the hotel” Adam sais pointing to their right.

“Wow, you have a very good taste, Mr. Berryman” Steve was delighted by the typical provencal house, surrounded by a Mediterranean garden, overlooking the old town of Cassis where Adam booked their room.

He didn’t fail to notice all the details of the building, something he couldn’t help to do wherever he goes, due to his job, and his particular love for countryside buildings. Adam was pleased, he took charge of the organization of the holiday, and he wanted everything to be perfect. 

The room was really cozy, the staff friendly.

They took a shower then slid under the soft sheets to sleep. They both knew tomorrow would be an important day: they would “meet” Thomas March and tried to know something more about his relationship with Michael Berryman.


	2. 2

They decided to walk to Thomas March’s house. Even if it was December, the weather was mild and the sun incredibly hot, comparing to the pale one they could barely see in London in this time of the year. 

Steve was charmed by the typical provencal houses and how well they mixed with more modern houses that had been built in that part of the village during the years. There was some harmony in that medley, and everything fit perfectly with the natural environment .

Adam let himself get caught by the smell of croissants coming from the bakeries and the sea breeze. That place was magical, and he could understand why Thomas March decided to leave England to live here…who knows, maybe one day Steve and him would move too…

It was so strange to make long term plans about their future, but it came so natural. As if Adam knew for sure they will stay together, get married, adopt a couple of children and live a peaceful life. A small village like this would be perfect, they both have a job that can easily be done everywhere and no particular reasons to stay in London. Except for Flora, of course…

They reached the house, in a quiet area at the limits of a protected area that leads to one of the “calanques” along the coast. The museum was closed in that time of the year, but there were two men working in the garden, and a woman talking with them. She should be Charlotte Hautecourt, the manager.

“Hello!” Steve called her.

She turned to the gate and smiled warmly, letting them in.

“Hello, nice to meet you, I’m Charlotte”

“Hi, I’m Steve, nice to meet you”

“And I’m Adam”

“Let’s get inside, follow me”

While they were reaching the small house, Charlotte explained them that this wasn’t the original place where Thomas lived when he reached Cassis at the end of the 40s. He bought this bigger house, and the pretty big garden years later, when he started to become famous and had money to spend.

They got inside from a back door, passing the kitchen and reaching a dining/living room. It was pretty cold inside, the fireplace wasn’t working and probably the heating system either, but this room had something that made it look warm: it seems like someone was still living there. There were tons of books on the library, pictures on the fireplace, a blanket on the armchair near it, and a pair of glasses on a notebook on the small table at his side…one may think that Thomas March would appear in every second from the next room.

Steve placed the painting of the cottage on the table. “This place is incredible, you’ve done a great job to keep it so true”

“It has always been my mission, to maintain the house as it was when Thomas March was alive. He left everything he had to my father, he’d known him since he was a boy. My grandfather owned an art gallery in Marseille and had helped Thomas to sell his works worldwide. I’ve known him too, but I was too little to remember…anyway, I’ve basically grown up here and between Thomas March paintings, so I had no doubts on how to spend his money. My father and his connections gave me a great help, but now this place walks on his own legs, and I’m very proud of it!”

Adam was like in trance…he felt like he was entering Thomas’ most private space.

Steve was looking at him, gesturing to show Charlotte the portrait.

“We have something that we would like to donate to the museum, two paintings that we’ve found in a cottage that my grandfather owned”

He put the portrait on the table and delicately pulled down the cover on it.

Charlotte was speechless “That’s the “Man in an orange shirt”!”

Adam and Steve exchanged a look. If the portrait was hidden behind the other painting, how does she know about it?

“You know this painting?”

“Of course I do, it has been my obsession for years! We have an identical portrait here, but the face of man in it is missing”

“This is Michael Berryman, my grandfather”

“Michael…oh my god! Mr. M…finally…I can’t believe it! I’ve find out who Mr. M is!” Charlotte was almost jumping for the happiness.

“”Mr. M?” Steve asked.

“Yes, the mysterious man Thomas March was in love with. We are full of diaries, letters, short poems dedicated to Mr. M. There are also some paintings and sketches in which he appears giving his back to us…we’ve never found out who he was and how he looked like. We only know that Thomas has loved him for all his life”

Adam felt like he was going to cry. So it was true what Flora said, Thomas loved Michael too…he wasn’t sure about it, he had just his grandfather’s letter, in which he said that he loved Thomas, but no proof if the feeling was actually mutual. 

And now he knew it…and it was relieving and said at the same time. He was happy to know that his grandfather’s love was reciprocated, but sad that such a great feeling couldn’t be lived by them. It wasn’t the right time, and that wasn’t fair…

That made him realize how lucky he was, to be able to live his love for Steve freely, and show how happy he is in front of the world.

Steve approached him and squeezed his shoulder, to let him know he was there.

“Charlotte, I have something else to show you, a letter my grandfather wrote but never sent to Thomas. But first, can I saw him? I’d like to “meet” my grandfather’s love”

“Of, course” she smiled softly and took a picture from the fireplace “Here, this is Thomas March”

There was a man in his forties, wearing a shirt and a pair of jeans, he was smiling to whoever took the picture, holding a paint brush in one hand. He seemed relaxed, at ease in his place, doing what he wanted to do…so different from the pictures Adam had of Michael. His grandfather always had the face of someone out of place, forced to smile and to stay with the people around him.

Adam couldn’t stop thinking of how things could have been if Michael sent the letter…probably he would have found pictures of a smiling Michael living here with Thomas.  
He wanted to know how things went between them, he hoped Thomas wrote something in the diaries Charlotte mentioned before that could help him to find out the truth.

He was about to start a journey in the past that he really hoped will help him to find all the answers he needs.

**Author's Note:**

> For those following me because of my works on "The Halcyon", don't worry, I'm not leaving (Monsoon will have his second chapter soon), but I wanted to write something else too.  
> Go take a look at this show (I've found the videos on YouTube), if you love Toby&Adil, I'm sure you'll love those two couples too!


End file.
